I can't help but ponder and question things...
What upsets me the most about religion is the anger and hatred that I see in so much of Christianity today. Rick Santorum is one angry Catholic. So many others in the public realm seem so angry and bitter in the name of Christianity. Often I have been attacked and my beliefs questioned because of my writings. How is this appealing? I suppose there has always been this strain within Christianity. But why should I let that influence my belief in God, and in my desire for spiritual sustenance. I have to remember that none of us are perfect. We all can improve.
I continue to believe. It is just that I cannot blindly accept everything that the Catholic Church tells me as being the absolute truth. Not to question things is inhuman. Does the Church really expect us to be mindless, zombie like adherents? I suppose some people can simply submit to Church authority and obey, but I am not one of them. I cannot simply deny and ignore all my experiences in life to fit my mind and beliefs and personality into an abstract doctrine or theology, especially when it comes to the messy world of human relationships. I think the Church is a few hundred years behind on certain matters.
Faith is truly a strange journey. One day I am angry; the next day I feel close to God, the next day I am questioning everything. In the end, as far as Christianity is concerned, it is all about Christ and your relationship with Him. Perhaps that sounds Protestant, but the Protestants have a good point on this one. Too many Catholics get caught up in a sort of idolatry of the Pope, or the Church itself, or the nuances of theology, and miss the big picture, or rather, miss the point of it all, which in the end is Christ.
So I continue along this path, uncertain and unsure about things, but still trusting in God that He is guiding me along the right path, for whatever reasons.
CL said:
I don’t think the Church expects us to accept without question. Of course you should question things – how else will you come to know the Truth? I mean really know it?
I’ve spent my whole life asking questions and seeking the Truth and I ended up at the Catholic Church (lol, I mistyped church as cru[t]ch – now that’s funny), but I realise that there are problems with the institution. That bothers me not from a faith standpoint but that it’s sad how Christianity is being subverted in the world to the point that so many who call themselves Christians are doing Satan’s work – i.e. they have become Satan’s useful idiots.
I agree with the relationship with Christ to a point – when it gets into that “own personal Jesus” territory I part company. There is too much room for using God as a rationalisation hamster that we should all be on guard against. On the other hand, the superstitiousness and idolatry of some Catholics gets just as ridiculous, although possible less harmful, so I agree with that too.
You seem to be describing the wrestling with God that is part of the faith journey. I get criticised too but I don’t really mind that. If I am in error, I have the opportunity to exchange error for truth; if I am correct, the truth will win out.
I used to think the same as you about the “messy world of human relationships” and the church being behind on that, but I don’t think it is up to the church to adapt to the world. The problems with human relationships these days is that they are not ordered correctly, but 7man and I have said lots about that already so no need to hash that out in detail here.
A big part of why the Church is currently so weak is its previous “adaptations” (i.e. pandering) to the secular world. The more it does that, the less point it has in existing at all and, paradoxically, the less relevance it has for humanity.
Racer X said:
CL,
Thanks for the lengthy comment, your thoughts are appreciated. The faith journey is always unique for each individual, but it is nice to know that others undergo the same struggles and have similar questions. Sometimes there does seem to be a fine line between the Church adapting to the world to better spread the message, and the Church becoming too much like the world, and therefore losing some or a lot of what is part of its essence.
Butterfly Flower said:
Racer X, this book might help you work through some of your issues with Christianity: http://www.amazon.com/People-Lie-Hope-Healing-Human/dp/0684848597/ref=cm_lmf_tit_1/176-7348621-2925558
My mother purchased “People of the Lie” for me after I told her I lost faith in Jesus, since there are so many devout Christians that are horrible, evil people. Like my father [a non-Christian], I was starting to view Jesus as an ineffective deity. It was the only explanation that made sense to me – baptism and church obviously didn’t erase the evil from Christians’ souls.
Here’s a quote from the book: “Since the primary motive of the evil is disguise, one of the places evil people are most likely to be found is within the church.”
Evil people pose as devout, pious Christians to masquerade their evil. There’s even an old parable that describes this phenomenon: “The nearer the Church, the further from God”.
IRL, I try not to talk to devout Christians anymore. I don’t care if they feel like telling me that my Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis [i.e. an inherited childhood ailment that nearly killed me] is caused by sins – ’cause they’re gonna burn in Hell. God sees through their holier-than-thou disguise. These days, I only care about a person’s behavior; their faith isn’t important. Decent people are decent people. Don’t let the phony Christians get to you. I know it’s very difficult, but if you try, your faith will slowly improve.